I have been meaning to write since I have the much needed vacay from school. I've exhausted a week so far out of my 2 week break and tell you what, I have done nothing but to abode laziness in my system. The idleness is driving me nuts though. School literally engulfs me into the blackhole of studying and fully disconnect me to my friends. So I thought I will make this week as a "reconnection week" with some friends I haven't talk since forever.
From different variegated conversations with different friends; There is one friend of mine who asked me a question which I didn't have the answer off hand. She is a friend of mine back in college whom I didn't know have secretly looked up to my pretty lame aspirations in life which I've once said in one of our drunken college nights. One of her great dream is to be married to an American. When yours truly happen to be married to one, just made her paddle the boat harder to the coastline of her dreams. Her question was; Why I can't find a decent guy to date online? My first reaction was... define decent.
As I retrocede from the chapters of my life. Greg and I didn't met on an online dating site rather it's one of those boring days on Skype. I can't just make up an answer which I know would impact the way she thinks about men here in United States.
Ladies, I am not here to tell you that this is how it goes. I am speaking from what I can see on the surface from the different layers of the online dating whirlpool.
Finding love in Chat rooms.
Set yourself for quite a long haul. I can't tell you enough that by the time you even consider yourself entering this not so welcoming Chat room, you have already set yourself to disappointment. Guys from all over the world in the internet can't hold their selves even for 2 seconds just to be respectful and gentleman enough to get to know you first before asking you to show your private parts. This is the reason why they all flock in these rooms. They are not there for love, they are there to have fun, to see what's between in those legs. It's like looking for a needle in the haystack for a man who would actually be polite to ask more about yourself. Men from other countries doesn't seem to see how important respect is for few Asian ladies. Filipinas are one of the few conservative ladies who would shut down when asked to be "all the way" on chat talks. When guys engage in a quite torrid conversations, some ladies feel awkward and feel insulted, and defeated from their expectations. But in all honesty, your purpose doesn't belong to these rooms. Unless you find a man who is searching the same thing as what you are,in the same room, that's the only time it'll work.
I have a friend who came up to me and shared her story how unbearable it was for her to be fully attached to this guy, who have showed a genuine interests towards her but she was left with a broken heart when the guy disappears without saying goodbye.
Love on dating sites maybe?
I would assume that the only reason you have that well structured profile in your favorite dating site is that you have had the fair share of heartaches with these guys around your area, or even in the country. It's not bad to find love in these websites but you have to be very, when I say very, very careful. You have to guard your heart and sift all these intentions coming from the guys you have met so far. There will always be a bad guy, and without a warning they would penetrate your vulnerable heart. There are a lot at stake when you open your heart to the possibilities to be with someone you haven't seen in person. There is the price of being once again attached to your feelings of wanting to make things work so badly, also not meeting your expectations about this person, together with all these; how would you address the pressure of intimacy which is pretty much the core of every relationship. Ask yourself, are you ready to be that person who would not feel silly doing peculiar things on webcamera just for the sake of love? The key here is to carefully put bits and pieces about this person who would first of all want to get to know you. Decipher how they treat and address your presence. How does he say things, does he makes premature "too good to be true" statements? These are some pretty essential questions you have to add in your guidelines when venturing love online. Always make yourself feel wanted by someone, if you can't feel its a two way street, let it go. Don't hold onto that little gut that this person would feel the same as what you feel, considering the amount of distance between the two of you.
A lot of people think that online dating is much easier than dating the traditional way because there is less physical pressure. However; It's a wrong assumption because they don't know how much you can be so invested on your emotions without the assurance that you'll be compensated.
You might be asking me now..."Then what's the difference between Chatroom and Dating sites anyway?" The answer is "Purpose". Where do you go when you need a bread? Don't go to the hardware!
We all have our bars set I would hope on how far we would go in terms on finding that right person, in any way. The extremities of these circumstances comes with unusual decisions that we might encounter along the process of getting all the pieces of the puzzle fit together to have a good picture how life would it be with this person. Family members might decry your persistence. You might blame yourself in some point for being so gullible for letting yourself open up,but its normal. Just know that when you have done enough to find that one person on cyberworld you believe is meant for you, maybe it's time to look in a smaller perimeters. Look around. Maybe you're just not letting yourself notice him.
