Dark Room

I honestly don't know where to start writing. I just know I need to write. I guess its because of this melancholic rather lullabies  for these kids sleeping  in this dark room while I'm watching them over here in the daycare I'm working.

Times like this can bring you with so much contemplation about how you truly feel at the moment .I am one of those people that whenever in solitary, there are bunch of toxic material going through my brain cells. I guess  even writing my state of mind whenever I can, still I have this reservoir of feelings I couldn't write about or air out.  You know what it feels like leaving in a world where you conceal everything, as in everything just so things would work as what everybody expects things  to be? Now, you are probably thinking how disturb I am letting all the these crap, desolated feelings cause a turmoil on me, That explains why there are people who have been successful bringing their selves to a picture they want to see their selves in at the later date, Through compromises, sacrifices, patience just for sake of the ones they love.

People disregard their feelings just so the ones they love would be happy first, and when you see them wearing a big smile in their faces, it brings happiness to yourself as well, but still you can't be happy until  you find that special feeling that your heart confirms that even material things are greatly  insignificant in  existence.

So if you think you are the only one in this world who can't get everything you wanted, who can't smile each day because you can't be with the person you love the  most, who has been in terrible pain in all ways, who doesn't know where your life is leading you... Cheers! You're not alone. I 'm here with you. 

Appointmentless

Whenever you need to see your doctor, you need to set up an appointment, simply because you want that specific time you want to be seen with. These days.. appointment is simple useless. Your appointment at 8:00 will be taken by someone who signed in first even you are there by 8:00. You are appointmentless!

 This morning, I woke up very early because I have to see my physician for my Physical exam and TB skin test. My husband and I arrived at the doctor's office at 8:03, and this woman who signed in first, 2 minutes earlier and her appointment was 8:15 was called first before me. I was like? what's the point of asking someone to come in at this time when you will not follow the appointment time? It doesn't make sense to me. We have to wait 45 minutes after that woman's turn.

I remember watching an episode in Curb your enthusiasm starring of course my favorite Larry David. He pointed out this absurd notion in this offices. I'd believe that if you set up an appointment, you are expected to be in a certain office at the said time, but what if you came earlier and signed in first even you are expected later, the other person would feel the same... Cheated.

These offices needs some rude awakening that the way they address their clients is quite not right. Appointment time is appointment time, not signed in time. Well, I think next time, I just have to come earlier to be seen first. The hell with others appointment time.

Going the Distance

12:07 in the morning to be exact. I just finished the movie "Going the Distance" starring Drew Barrymore and Justin Long which are real life sweethearts. As I was watching this movie, I though it was some type of  dejavu in my part to see myself in that situation. I thought about writing something about this movie because  it really sank into me.

The movie was about long distance relationship. The struggles to keep the spark alive and in remain to be in the crepuscular of love. The movie was actually moving to me since I used to be in the same situation where there are times that I have to make formidable decisions. Besides the fact that there are a lot of relationships now which are in a form of long distance relationship, many of us are not aware that this type of relationship is more than demanding even though your special someone is not around with you. It requires a great amount of patience and determination to stick to that exclusive relationship and never let yourself  be involved with someone else while the other is in the other side of the world. Based from my very own experience, the core factors that will wrap up the relationship while the other is not yet able to settle in, is of course TRUST and FIDELITY. Without these two, both of you are just as far as the miles entails.

I have fellows who have had long distance relationships nevertheless, ended in a vexatious breakup. If one has never put oneself into making the relationship work, it'll not work. Its a  two way street that requires constant traffic of communication, airing out feelings, creativity to make each other feel that physical presence is not a hurdle in the relationship most specially, and definite effort to have all that working with each other.

A simple though for you from me, before hitting the sack.

Late Night Crisis

Have you ever had that moment in life wherein you are just watching your favorite late night show in the telly  then all of a sudden, a strange feeling hits your  mind and you feel like your life is all out of whack?

We all have our late night crisis, as I call it. It's our human nature to yearn for something that we have been wanting, desiring, and see ourselves doing it but putting all together in action or in reality is even virtually impossible.
In my 22 years of existence in our not so perfect world, I've dreamt and want so many things to happen in me. But even I, know that it'll be one big struggle to come to that point where I can say, I couldn't be any happier.

Often times, I feel like I've missed so many things in life that I could have done if only...  Yes! that line often times is one of the phrases we don't even want to utter because it has a very potent meaning to which we don't want to altercate. Many of us have just chosen to just hold on in the state of life where we think that is where we are suppose to be but, have we asked ourselves, "Is this really what I want for me?" What I have done to myself for me to have something to look forward the next day and be happy about it?

I have known few good friends who has done nothing to their selves than to be the best of what they can be. But at the end of their every bad day, we find ourselves asking "Why I'm still not happy?" Myself, is one of the people who has set a broad horizon for my goals and reaching few of those then have actually suffer from the consequences of the path I choose instead of doing it the hard way. Even we have accomplished our very dream, it doesn't mean we have reached our goal life.

Happiness doesn't mean you have everything in life. Happy people in this world is scarce.You can be happy living in a hovel yet you have the most loving and caring children and wife. We all have own way of seeking happiness and once we find it, we hold on to it and never let it go. The most important thing is we might not be in that point in life where we want our life to be, but we have to keep in mind that, it takes two things; Do something, work for it. 

Between two classrooms of an Education System

It's good to be back! I've been feeling guilty by not writing something because it's been quite a while airing out a thought from my mind. Today, I would like to talk about my schooling.

When I took my COMPASS Test for Nursing school,  I failed to meet the required points for Mathematics to get into nursing program (which of course I believe 99.9 % of  world's population despise Math). I felt to discouraged but my husband's bullying had pushed me to my extreme of studying and collecting all my rusty knowledge back from my younger school days. Needless to say, I re-take that Math portion and passed it with flying colors. So now, yours truly is now in the Practical Nursing Program. A 16-month rigid course for aspiring nurses.

I was so thrilled when I first stepped-in for school registration. I've met few nice friends which until now we're building friendships together. Moreover, when I went for our first day of classes, everything just  like a strong lighting volt that struck me, telling me, "This is it Cathy! There's no turning back!"

Education System

The very first appealing feeling I have felt was the difference of the Education System between my foreign country and  the United States. I don't want to pry on Philippines standard of education but it just made sense to me why United States has the best education system in whole mankind.

When I was in my college days, I must admit that I didn't do my very best to absorb everything what my instructor was trying to teach me, though you have your textbooks, you have all your friends whom can help you out finishing a term paper in no time because hey, you can just copy their work by maneuvering the words, right? Pronto! you have your term paper. But, still there is a factor lacking between the instructor's way of teaching and the dedication of the students to actually learn and  be as much competitive as they can be. Now that I am actually going to college and most specially here in the United States, I am starting to feel the toughness of the obstacles I have to jump through just to get to the finish line. Kudos though to every student who had finished college in my country! You guys did great!

Pell Grant- a money received by the students that they don't need to pay back the government.

Financial Aid-  may come in a form of loans that the Federal government lends to the student to go to school but has to be paid back once out of school and already working.

In the Philippines...

WE DON'T HAVE PELL GRANT OR FINANCIAL AID.  The government can't afford to give out free money to every student who are less fortunate than the others. Because if the government can, it would have been nice to see no teenagers begging in the streets of Manila for their food of the day. If you want to go to school, the parents has to spend for your education, if they can't afford it  anymore, either you stop going to school or work to finish it.

Good side: Students doesn't need to worry paying back loans. They just need to study.

Bad side: Most of the students doesn't work hard to get the highest average they can have because there is no government minimum average involvement required to keep up so that the students would  continuously  receive financial aid from the government itself for the next semesters to come.

INSTRUCTORS ARE  MORE APPROACHABLE. In college, you and the instructor can have that friendly relationship that might and might not affect the ability of the student to perform the task that was given to him/her. You can approach them anytime you  desire, consult them about certain topics.
They are there every step of the way if you allow them to. And every subject has an instructor who is physically present in the classroom.

In the United States...

THERE IS PELL GRANT / FINANCIAL AID. Most of the students who qualify can receive an aid for their education until they are out of school. Having the opportunity to receive Pell grant or financial aid, you have to diligently and religiously study to maintain a GPA ( Gradel Point Average) or else the government will take away your aid and you'll not going to be able to finish school unless your parents can afford your tuition fees.

Good side: Students are motivated to study hard to keep up with the government's requirement to receive aid.
  
Bad side: You don't get to fool around and you have to pin yourself down for studying.. Others take Pell Grant for granted by going to school then once they receive the money they will stop going to school.

INSTRUCTORS ARE VIRTUALLY PRESENT. I have one subject which is the Allied Science, that only time I will see her is that when I'm ready and need to take an exam that only her can activate the test in the computer. Yes! we take our test online.

We work on our own pace. We study whenever we want in the website that was provided to us. It's like one big plate of food that was given to us and its up to you how long it will take you to eat it all. You might have  friends but the way I see it here,  school is purely school, work on your own, its a good way of competition though. But outside of that box, they are willing to assist you if  you missed a class. Instructor can only be reached most of the time through email, you hardly can see them after your class with them.

I can't blame some fellows who decided to be contented of what they are. Because I can say going to school here in the United States is not an easy ride. If you don't have the stamina to get through late night notes reading, listening and watching 71 pages of course ware in the computer that may take you up to 4 hours to complete until its very last page, then you need truck load of motivation to finish school.

To see the comparison from my country's education system and United States is undesirable and  painful. But believe it or not, I feel like I have all the drive I need to get through my schooling here. Every student should feel the need of finishing school knowing that you're working so hard to maintain the average, without letting other outside factors intervene your performance. Every student here in the United States should feel so fortunate for having all the help available, because there are some people from other countries wherein going to school is as much hard as it sounds due to some seen factors. In the contrary, to every student who is not as much blessed, its important to study hard  to finish school, and make a difference!

With all the state of the hard technology which is available for me that will soon be introduce to my class in the next coming months, I am more than excited to be able to be a part of health care field.

Sad news about Hannah Montana.

What happen to Hannah Montana?

There was this discussion about  "What is really in the minds of American Teens?"  One answer that is really standing out is, "idolizing teen stars, following their foot steps and act like them", because that is what Idol mean to these young hearts.

MILEY CYRUS (17)  a.k.a Hannah Montana who has been one of the role models of every teen in America, possibly saying in the world; has evolve to something that the public has never expected would occur this soon. She has become a disappointed of every parents who lets their kids watch Disney channel, and parents whom they have in trusted their children's inspiration and act as they grow. Miley Cyrus has been wearing very inappropriate clothes, bad lyrics in her songs (I can't be tamed"), and showing off more and more and more flesh in every performance she performs.  That is not how a seventeen year old young lady to dress up and who is being watch in the TV by millions of young girls that'll soon be on Miley's  age.

Now all those girls who are following Hanna Montana will follow this act. This society needs changing. This is the reason why we have teenagers nowadays dressing the way they do and acting the way they do, and are terrible example to young girls.

Lindsay Lohan is one of those child star too who rose to fame and hit the floor of shame, and now where she is? Miley Cyrus path is quite leaning towards to same way which Lindsay Lohan choose.

There are some television personality who change themselves to be something a little bit off from their selves just to draw attention from the public that lead these personalities to believe that fame is the most important aspect of one person's success. Very wrong.

Ways to protect your identity.

Have you ever asked yourself, "Do I have a security for my identity?" Or, Have I ever exposed some of the confidential information of myself without me realizing that I have been? We'll talk about that.

Ever since I moved here in the United States, there are norms that I have to follow. Top of the line is, "Never let anyone know your Social Security Number." "Don't let anyone know about your Credit card pin", (some exception can be exercise if you have a spouse) or any banking information, Never put your complete name and birth date in the internet, and the list just goes on and on. Even one single move or any of these have happen to you, You are very much vulnerable on Identity theft or involvement in any type of fraud. Without your knowledge, your Credit score have plummeted already into the deepest depth of trouble. While I was organizing and getting rid off with all the clutter of paperwork we have here in the house a lighting of idea came up to senses with these few little and simple ways on how you can protect your identity.

From telephone and cellphone bills, credit card bills, unwanted school documents, insurance notice, student loan notification, hospital bills that has been accumulated over the months and years; We can't keep all these for so long! Its just going to clog up our drawers and waste more folders or organizer just to keep them in tact. Now that I have mention that you can't keep them and sitting and collecting dust, the first thing you will probably think is, "throw them". I would say DON'T! Don't throw and open yourself to bad guys who picks up your garbage and will dig on your trash bags hoping to find some recyclable stuffs.

Here are some ways on how to protect your identity from these opportunistic people;

FIRST, Put all your valuable documents that you think you don't want to keep anymore in one plastic bag. BURN them so noone can ever touch your information except the ashes.

SECOND, Buy a shredder machine for the family so you can shred all the documents that are no longer valuable, rather than throwing them in the trash with some of the information that other people can use against yourself.

THIRD, NEVER engage with a cold call telephone conversation which is from someone you hardly know. I am also referring to some telemarketing calls that asks for your credit card number for you to buy what they are offering. Or even responding to some emails which came from unknown sender.

FOURTH, If you are a member of Social Networking sites, DON'T accept a friend request from someone whom is not familiar to you. In our recent times, you can't just trust people who are making friends with you through the internet who happens to have a very good looking picture. This is one way to lure you about physical attributes for you to think that s/he is one good someone. They can use your information for some lame purposes.

And last but not the least, Don't expose your personal information to someone, establishment, organization without you knowing what is the reason or purpose why you are giving your information to them. Ask yourself again, "Are they reputable enough to know something about me?" Gather information about that party who is asking for your information and check out with the proper bureau who might have an idea what are they up to.

So long, If you know that you have never exercise any of these little ways to protect your identity, You are not only secured, but you are yourself is safe!