This entry is about my frustrations and my dainty little swallow happiness coming from a incarcerated feelings of last week.
Reality slapped me couple of times this week. Reality of what I get myself into, Reality of being such a passive student way back high school and hating Math to the top of my lungs, and Reality of you'll never know what you want to know unless you asked!
I know I have a soft heart to mostly 3/4 of the population of this world but I have never seen even in my wildest imagination to be a Nurse. Yet, I am trying to be one. I was merely thinking that because I can't be the dumbest student in a certain school, I can do it with by just holding on to the confidence I have earned for myself. But listen, here's the thing that I just realized.. "Being Confident on something is not bad, but if you don't back it up with effort, Confidence is useless" I thought I was studying that hard, but still it wasn't enough. In high school, Math was my least priority. But now, this B**ch is hunting me. It frustrates me because from the rest of my courses that I am doing wonderfully, Basic Pharmacology seems to be flunking me. I refuse to fail this course! Everytime I think about failure, its like a default thing that I can't help myself not to think failure is my rescue.
Ask and you shall know. There are times that we let ourselves be bothered, smothered, and butchered with halo feelings that we want to solicit the answer. Like wanting to know if someone feels the same way towards you, or simple like asking someone Why from What. I know what you we're thinking... Did you just say "it wasn't the right time to ask".. so then when is the right time for you? I hope by that time, the answer that you want to know is still the one you expect to hear. As for my case, forget the hot flashes before I asked the question, what matters the most is that I knew what I want to know by taking that risk that regardless what will the answer be... I still let myself free from confusions.
Have a good one beautiful souls.
